Its probably the simplest, yet most awarding thing you can do for yourself. The "Self-Care" culture has allowed many to believe that self-care is you having coffee, with a mask on wrapped in a mohair blanket, and whilst that is certainly the case for many, self-care really is a mindset. You can be all of the above and still not be present at that moment, which is why I believe self-care is a truly about the journey to mastering true presence and acceptance of self.
I follow many Guru's who offer teachings on enlightenment and self actualisation as a form of spiritual awaking. It's not really a universalist approach, which many have often understood it to be. Instead, I believe its about finding and being within yourself so deeply that you connect with your origin, whatever that origin may be.
The problem is we are most inclined to run away from ourselves because its become easier wanting to be everything but who we actually are. We are the pain that we carry, the disappointments we've endured, the excitement we've had and the joy we know. Think about it this way, no one, absolutely no one has walked such as you have walked. They may have walked with you, but it is only you who had the thoughts you had, saw things the way you did and responded so uniquely because of the feelings and intuition only you had. Even as you read this, no one is drawing the kind examples or memory of things like you are right now.
So, with everything that you have gone through, does it just not make sense to congratulate and reflect on your survival, because most of us haven't really known what it its to live, as much as we know what its like to survive. Surviving is not always filled with drama and theatrics, but its hidden in the simple choice to not think the worst, or to not think at all. Sometimes its talking yourself into not trying too hard this time, or in allowing others to figure it out this time around. Pouring into yourself maybe in taking the harder route, like letting go of a lover or stable job just so you can find your own passions again.
Expect to be the most misunderstood when you decide to choose yourself. Prepare for opposition, and realise that your circle will get smaller. As discouraging as this thought may be, be clear of this, you cannot grow and expect things to remain the same. Things have to make space for who you are becoming, and that is great because there is so much excitement in knowing that you as you have been are about to get better.
So, know yourself well, go deeper in your relationship with yourself than you do trying to relate to others. Its only once you have understood who you are, what makes you, what your needs are, what drives you - its only once that has been satisfied that you may start learn what it takes to become the person you want to be. Its so sensible. We become better people, parents, colleagues, partners for it, and because we have learnt to be kinder to ourselves, it makes it almost impossible to accept anything less than the standard we have set for ourselves. It cultivates a positive cycle of giving in so that you give out only what you have given to yourself, and when we start doing it, others begin to see value in it and do it too.
It's actually deeper than "pouring", its "knowing yourself" - but its termed pouring because you are the vessel into which more of you should exist.